Dick or Lick?

There once lived a king and a queen who ruled a large kingdom. The king was short in vital parts and the queen had to seek solace with every Dick, Tom and harry.

After some time the king grew suspicious of the queen's escapades and wanted to punish the subjects willing to risk their lives for a fling with her.

He sought the services of his court magician to help identify the culprits. The magician built an invisible contraption that was attached to the queen's waist. The mechanism was simple, it would slice any elongated object that ventured anywhere within an inch of the queen's waist.

Having set his trap the king set off on a hunting trip and returned to his palace after spending a sleepless week and burning with curiosity.

Immediately after his arrival he summoned the queen's private bodyguards to his foyer and having despatched all attendants ordered them to undress. All of them had lost their penises! He next summoned the palace guards and the result was the same. By mid-afternoon he realised that there was not a single male soul in the vicinity who had not made a valiant attempt only to be left peniless (pun).

The only man left was his minister and to his surprise the king, on inspection found the only man who had a penis left on him!

Pleseed with his minister's loyalty he asked him as to what punishment would befit all the others and in reply received only a blubbering sound from the minister's mouth.